The PATROL Principles

The six principles of running your family as a patrol.

1. P

   Parent-Led, Mentor-Supported Leadership

   • The parent is the patrol leader. They set direction, hold the standard, and earn the right to lead.
   • The more a parent refines their delivery of the patrol family playbook, the more they earn their position as patrol leader among their kids.
   • Strong patrol leadership deliberately surrounds the kids with key mentors to support the kids advance through ladders of success that differ from the parent's ladder of success.
2. A

   Agency-Oriented

   • Agency is built...

     • from honest work, demonstrated capability, and earned resources
     • differently during unique stages of child development.
     • through kids climbing their own ladders of success.
     • when kids make their earned money work for them through good investments.
     • from paid chores but not from paid missions, whose own aims must be their ultimate reward.
     • through real turns at the helm, as often as kids are ready.
3. T

   Targets Tied to the Mission

   • A mission is one or more targets. A target is one or more tasks.

     • Great achievements are broken down into their component parts and completed one step at a time. This is the pattern every kid must learn to succeed in life.
   • Missions come in six categories. All six are necessary — both to round out a whole person and to bond a family as tightly as it can be.

     • Adventure fills life with awe and wonder — and forges the courage that comes only from meeting the wider world head-on.
     • Faith & Meaning anchors life in purpose and conviction — the antidote to cynicism and drift.
     • Family deepens every member's sense of belonging and builds a legacy that outlives any single one of them.
     • Intellect sharpens the mind, feeding curiosity and building the capability a meaningful life and career require.
     • Service turns kids outward, growing gratitude and empathy and freeing them from self-absorption.
     • Work & Home builds competence and responsibility, teaching kids to provide for themselves and carry their weight in a functional household.
   • Completing a mission raises one's baseline of accomplishment.
   • A routine of mission completion is the best pattern a parent can establish with their kids.
4. R

   Rhythmic Approach

   • We are creatures of habit. For that reason, staying on beat keeps us moving. Getting off our rhythm threatens the whole system.
   • Daily Rhythm

     • The Nightly Tally

       • Chore accounting
       • Mission progress accounting
       • Submit council discussion items
   • Weekly Rhythms

     • Parent Council: parents meet first to read the week and plan the councils ahead.
     • Personal Councils: one-on-one with each kid to settle the week's chore pay and inspire and coach the missions ahead.
     • Family Council: the most important routine your family will ever have.
5. O

   Orienting over Ordering

   • Families are built with discipline and warmth - they need both.

     • discipline without warmth creates compliance
     • warmth without discipline creates drift
   • Orienting is the default, not an absolute: sometimes an order is exactly right.
6. L

   Lasting Memories

   • The payoff that is more precious than money.
   • What kids need is meaning.

     • Not all memories last: the fun, low-meaning outings kids ask for the most are also the memories that fade fastest. Kids need parents to do more than take them on roller coasters or to the movies.
     • Meaningful experiences grow in importance in a kid's memory as they grow older. Interviewing a grandparent, learning about ancestors, hearing the story of their birth, etc.
     • Recognition earned among the people kids care about is meaningful. A completed mission, celebrated in front of the family, lands deeper than most payouts.
     • Family vacations become journeys to remember.
   • Shared Missions — uniting your patrol with other families in common purpose — are also where lasting memories are made.